Russia-Ukraine Insight

 One of the things I learned from the mental health system and from leaving the mental health system was this:

Just because you're angry doesn't mean you have to be combative. You can even raise your voice a bit and be assertive. You can learn words. You can learn how to form words. You can learn how to act calm. And still not take any guff.

The mental health system mistreated me and acted very cold and talked down to me for most of my life when I was a child and after I became an adult. The school system did very similarly and allowed much bullying to occur between other children and myself. I was often discouraged from fighting and encouraged to act subdued and submissive. When I did come into myself I was threatened with suspension and bullied by the adults and guilt baited and placated and cajoled into being a "nice person", even if it meant surrendering to the bullies and accepting things that I knew were very wrong.

The end result is I still have much rage inside me.

By the time I was in my 30s I was beginning to have flashbacks and memories of abuse at home. At the same time I was abused I was preparing for preschool and kindergarten and as a result of the emotional issues resulting from the abuse at home, unbeknownst to me, I ended up in a mental institution for 9 months in the county. I didn't know if I was going home or not. I had spent 9 months in a mental institution because my attitude and behavior had been negative. But I did not know what was wrong and they didn't seem to want to know what was wrong. They just wanted to warehouse me.

So in my 30s I was having these terrible flashbacks and not getting validated by the mental health system. The mental health system was treating me very much like the school system had treated me when I was a child. They were treating me very much like my family treated me. What I mean by family is my caretaker. I understood that my mother and grandparents were doing their best to care for me but they had their own problems. My father had abandoned my mother and me when I was a baby. As a result I was neglected and not cared for sometimes for days at a time. Finally my caretaker came along but she held it against my mother and me. My caretaker was another family member who, like the mental health system---and, like the school system, talked down to me and invalidated me, especially after my mother's death, when I was 9 years old.

Russia was bullied by the United States and by NATO'S encroachment, for decades. I don't agree with Stalinism. I don't agree with Nazism. I don't agree with corrupt angry hateful abusive behavior on the part of the Russian government. I also don't agree with corrupt angry abusive behavior on part of our American government. And I don't agree with the way Ukrainian leader is acting either wanting to retake.

What I want is to go down to the root cause.

I learned in the mental health system and from leaving the mental health system that there are boundaries.

It is not okay to take what isn't ours. It is not okay to hurt other people. It is not okay to attack people. I don't believe that it's even okay or good for us to hate other people or to hate ourselves. Hate is an emotion and it has a purpose like any other emotion. Anger is an emotion and it has a purpose as any other emotion. These emotions are not negative. They are emotions---and emotions are part of the human condition!

I understand that there are, at least, two forms of reactions, when we are dealing with issues (on any level in the world global personal familial or otherwise).

There is psychopathy. That is when we act out without feeling anything. We have a mental process that is not healthy and can be very dangerous because we don't have empathy and we don't feel things.

There is also the kind of reaction: Emotional reaction, where we lose control. When we get angry about being hurt or we feel hateful about something being done by people,; we may lose control with anger and hate. We may be at serious risk to develop very dangerous attitudes and behavioral issues.

And I believe this happens on the global level and on the political/social level as well as on a personal level or familial level.

I believe psychology and politics go together.

I don't want us to have a nuclear war or destruction as a result of some people (politicians) having some attitudes that are dangerous.

Biden's attitude of: " we have to send arms to the Ukraine".

Putin's attitude of: " we have to use any means necessary..." including nuclear war or nuclear threats (I used to get angry at people and yell at him and act out. I never actually killed anyone but I did beat up a 7th grader because he was bullying me at school everyday until I lost my temper). Putin was under pressure. He felt bound to help stop Nazi behavior in the Ukraine. People were telling him to help them. Just as I was telling my friend to help me deal with my bullying situation at school and he felt like he had to yell at my caretaker to stop me from killing myself when I was 16 years old! I am working on my attitude right now. And I'm trying to drive home a point. A negative attitude does not have to dictate our lives or our world politics! Negative behavior does not have to control us on any level social political global or personal or familial.

If Zelensky wants to take Don Bass, I don't agree with the way he's trying to take it. The people apparently wanted Russia to help stop that---or at least the way he was taking Don Bass.

It's not worth blowing up the world... it's not worth blowing up the world. That seventh grader that I beat up at school,: I'm glad he's okay, I'm glad he came back to school, I'm glad he's not dead , and I'm honestly sorry that I beat him up. I remember telling him (while I was crying more than he was!) , "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I lost my temper! I didn't mean to hit you that hard. I don't ever want to hear you call me that name again ever ever." And he never did. He left me alone. He had been calling me a bad name, goading and taunting me for 7 months , during that school year.

The root cause is bullying. The root cause is greed. The root cause is insecurity. The root cause is misguided fear and anger. Mental wellness and sanity are dictated by our *attitude and our behavior*. The rest is the human condition and we can learn how to deal with it! Including defense emotions and defensive thoughts.

Carol E.,

Administrator of mental emotional and self health &

Peer counseling specialist.